Happiness isn’t a mystery

Inspiring confident, kind kids & forever friendships

We just wrapped Winter Weekend. Holy moly! What a time.

Sub-zero and single-digit temps, so much snow. Sledding, skating, chocolate fountains! It was amazing to check in with so many senior campers and hear about what matters to them.

More on all of that soon, but these last few days have me thinking a lot about happiness and what it looks like in real time.

Do me a favor, try this with me real quick.

Think of a genuinely happy moment from the last few years. A real one. Keep it in your mind for a couple of seconds. Got it?

Now answer these questions:

Were you outside?

Were you with people you chose to be with?

Were you either laughing or crying or in awe of something?

Were you watching the clock?

Were you focusing on practicing something you’re generally bad at?

What this exercise reveals

When I do this exercise with groups, most people answer a big “yes!” to the first three (their happy memory was outside, with friends, and either laughing, crying, or in awe of something).

Most people say “No” to the last two (not watching the clock and not addressing their deficits in therapy)

A totally consistent pattern.

Happiness usually happens outside (if it’s warm enough lol!), with chosen people, without time pressure, and for sure not while fixing yourself.

So we know the formula to some degree: go outside with people you like and don’t watch the clock.

If we know the formula, why don’t we do it more?

The real problem

The barrier to happiness isn’t lack of info.

It’s the same problem as health or fitness. We know what works but getting to the gym and onto the treadmill everyday is tough because other stuff often feels more urgent.

Happiness gets treated as accidental or optional instead of intentional and scheduled.

We put those moments last, almost unplanned, hoping they just happen.

Happiness isn’t a mystery, but there are times when it is a priority problem. And for a lot of families (including my own), the pressure is coming from all sides.

Achievement culture and the rat race

It’s so easy these days to operate on an achievement-first model.

Kids should get better every year. Busier, more capable, more impressive with all of the awards and grades to go with it.

Parents are running hard on the daily too. Big jobs. High expectations. Not a lot of margin.

A lot of camp families feel this pressure intensely. We want our kids to be set up for success. Have great options. Stand out among their peers or have similar achievements as peers. Mostly, we want our kids to be successful, and we know it takes hard work to achieve at a high level. Kids have to learn how to commit, how to find the energy to perform in school and in sports or other endeavors.

One of the reasons camp matters so much is because it offers a different rhythm for six weeks, and even a couple of days in the winter.

Sure, kids need stamina. Sire, they need to learn how to do things they don’t want to do. How to be tired. How to push through discomfort.

That’s legitimate, but stamina doesn’t necessarily need misery as a prerequisite. So many youth programs focus on effort, accountability, and challenge – and those really matter but they don’t add up to being “happy” all on their own.

So what does work?

The mix

Most parents aren’t aiming for indulgence or ease. They’re aiming for happy, productive kids. But sometimes we model only the productivity part.

Camp offers a different ratio.

Effort + belonging. Accountability + joy. Challenge + rest.

The winning formula isn’t 100% comfort and 0% effort. And it’s not 100% grind and 0% joy.

It’s the mix.

Kenwood & Evergreen work because it schedules happiness intentionally while still holding kids accountable for effort, responsibility, and growth.

And that mix is what makes the happiness formula actually work.

I want to be clear that I am not nailing this 100% at my house. We are not magically frolicking outside with some perfect blend of responsibility and joy! My kids go to camp for this blend too.

What camp does

Camp doesn’t eliminate effort, but it for sure organizes life differently.

Kids are outside. With people they chose to be with all while definitely not watching the clock.

They’re also challenged. They have responsibilities. They sweat. They get tired.

But they’re not desperately “fixing themselves” to fit in. They’re not performing strictly for others. They’re not pretending they’re okay when they’re not.

Kenwood & Evergreen isn’t a spa. If it was just pampering, kids would hate it after a few days.

It works because the formula (outside, chosen people, no clock) is paired with the mix (effort, belonging, accountability, joy).

That intentionality really matters

The takeaway

We already know what makes us happy.

And we already know what makes kids happy.

The hard part isn’t figuring it out, but it does mean prioritizing it.

Camp does that for 6.5 weeks every summer (and yeah, a few days every winter). We are outside, with people we care about, less clock-checking, with meaningful responsibility and real joy.

That’s why we have more peak moments and more good days at camp than any other youth programming.

And it’s not an accident. It’s designed that way.

Best,

Sylvia

PS – For real, some cool Winter Weekend stories coming soon.

Including how cool it is to see the first year “seniors” have this excited + nervous energy, and Juniper 2026 are finding their leadership voices. Incredible.

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Sylvia van Meerten

Evergreen Director
[email protected]

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114 Eagle Pond Rd, Wilmot, NH 03287